Amadeus (1984)

Hey, are there loosely-based-on-real-life things that you always wanted to know about famed composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart?
Then this movie is for YOU (points at you). 

Have you ever wondered about his unconventional and, at times, downright silly hijinks, sexual exploits, or how he managed to put on a production of the scandalized Le Nozze di Figaro RIGHT UNDER the noses of the Viennese bourgeoisie???? HAHAHAHA!!!!!

Then this movie is for YOU (points at you). 

Did you want to learn about his completely eff'd up relationship with his father and his descent into madness/drunkness/some-kind-of-consumption-whilst-still-being-a-freaking-enigmatic-requiem-composing-super-genius?

Then . . you guessed it . . this movie is for YOU (points at you). 

There is really no wondering why this film was nominated for a whopping FIFTY-THREE awards (and won 40!!!!). It even appeals to children! Well, at least, to the childhoods of the two acclaimed authors of this here blog. I don't know how many times we sequestered ourselves in the "basement" of our Nana's house, eyes glued to her primordial big screen TV (the ones that required 7 very fit men to move from one location to another?), huge cans of Tab soda in our tiny hands, clearly mesmerized by the dynamic tale this period drama unfolds.  To this day, I can usually identify a Mozart piece. I'm a regular sophisticado!  Cultural diversity!


Dude, wait. You haven't seen the extended "Director's Cut" version? I have it on DVD, come over. There is this weird scene where Wolfie's wife, Constanze, shows up at Salieri's chambers and totally offers her bare-breasted body to him in exchange for work for her spendthrift spouse!!  WHAT??? I KNOW.  That girl so scandalous. Thong-th-thong-thong-thong.

If you haven't already started downloading/queuing up Amadeus solely based on this post, then DO IT NOW. If you need further stimuli, I'm just going to say these words:

• "Capezzoli di Venerein" or "Nipples of Venus"
• Masquerade party
• Don Giovanni
• Jeffrey Jones as Emperor Joseph II ("Well . . There i'tis!")

Dunzo.